Tuesday, June 30, 2009


I have been extraordinarily busy, in my creative life, in my "day job" life and personally as well....

I took the last 18 days to try and stay focused creatively, either with my drawing, my painting, my writing, my photography....

just to name a few...

I feel still like I'm not able to break through a "stagnant" feeling that i'm not putting enough into my creative world....

I can't do it all is what has come glaringly apparent. I knew that, but why can't i just find a way to be satisfied in the "daily" creative endeavor?

I began my new "artistic journal" in hopes that by posting here daily (almost) that i could feel or see that indeed i am finding my creative spirit in the "daily" journey.

It is working.

But 18 days into this, tonight I feel I still have no real progress to show for my "focus" or my distinct discipline in seeing the "art" in my every day walk... I guess I want more.

I don't feel I'll be happy until I can really say I'm a fulltime artist, and this last 18 days was a trial for me to "make do" with the time I have for now.

My goal for now is to merge my living space with my workspace, a live/work space, to plan an exhibit for my new work inspired by "rougge's" music, finish some children's illustrations, and continue in my daily artistic journal... I have at least 5 other projects in various stages, and about 3 more in the "brain" and sketchbook.... I don't suffer from the proverbial painter's block, staring at a white blank canvas, but i do get stuck when i'm in constant "schizoid" mode between art/art studio and day job responsibilities.

Tomorrow I will finish the "cow" project I've done at the day job. As part of the summer reading program, kids keeping track of time reading earn prizes and this year will also earn a "heifer cow" (see this for more info) - to be purchased to feed a hungry family.

So I have made a large cow for the wall above the children';s area and each time one hundred children finish the reading program i will put up a part of the cow, hoping to show our cow in finished form by the end of summer. So the last two days I've actually been able to spend "library" time painting.... yay!

(images later)

Sunday, June 28, 2009

sunday down the coast

i took the day off... it was sweltering here... needed the cool sea breeze... took my book and my blanket and sat in the coolness of the coast...

Friday, June 26, 2009

thinking of rougge project

Out of bed, in clothes, out the door.
No computer...
that can suck up my morning.

Flowers, fresh air, wallet and sketchbook.
A good walk and coffee, clearing my head
to create.

Papers splashed with death
of Michael Jackson
what a tragedy.

Feels strange
that on some level
can relate to
the "recluse"
in him...
not in the sense of having no privacy
but instead of feeling

have that.
see so deeply.

pick up my
large wood panels
"Rougge" project.

A business meeting just took place in front of me.
in the cafe...
6 young ethnically diverse well dressed "sales" professionals
their monthly
talking billions ($$$$$)..... sigh....
whatever turns you on...

the part
most unbalanced in
me is the part that

even though
I need it to live.

I should look at
embracing (millionaires)

All I want
survive, paint fulltime
give to
women and children's causes.

Where is my "business" mind?
Not developed I guess....

I want good for the whole and can't get into the monetary gain drain.

Oh Well... I work, I paint, I smile.

What else is there? :)

here is a video or two and some images of the sketches for the pantings to come for Rougge...


Wednesday, June 24, 2009

on my way to the studio

i saw this amazing compilation of crushed vehicles parked along the frontage road as the sun was setting... so i turned off the freeway and parked to take these photographs...

wednesday morning

paintings through the blinds...

Friday, June 19, 2009

Edward Burtynsky

I found this documentary at the day job, "Edward Burtynsky - Manufactured Landscapes" a film by Jennifer Baichwal --- a stunning film of Burtynsky's images of quarries, recycling yards, mines and dams, it's truly amazing.

I'm taken by this work, because it also interests me and informs my own work. I too photograph this reality... as a statement of what i see, what inspires me, what shocks me... take a look at his webpage, especially the ships images.

and here's a video about the movie...

Manufactured Landscapes

and here's a few photographs of my own work...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

LiFe DrAwInG ....

Putting together a proposal for a drawing class for July

First lesson: seeing and contour/skeleton/loose drawing
gesture gesture look.....

Monday, June 15, 2009


studio visit after work at 830pm

building some paintings of nursery rhymes for Maya

Jack and Jill

Saturday, June 13, 2009

coffee and sketchbook

Was going to draw but need to document.

My neighborhood starbucks, drive-thru, sounds so yuppie, is yuppie, but all working class people here, no high faluting SF city types unless i'm too late for the commuter crowd.

Near retirement fireman, pudgy and gray.
Married man reading library book
teenage mommy with almost 2 year old
female gangsta type, all black, hat on backwards, sliver metalic striped shorts, sagged, tatts.
overworked, over tired middle age construction workers

oh my god i just saw a woman I worked with at PacBell -- and nearly choked. She's aged tremendously, granted she was at least 10 years my senior.

So i will do a drawing/writing/photograph a day for 30 days for brain/creative exercise, to keep me sane...

teenage mommy is most bothersome. She sat the little girl down hard in the chair, opened her lap top, sharply said, "EAT" and promptly propped her web cam on top of the laptop. When the little girl tried to eat, she grabbed the bite from her hand, took a bite herself, saying "NO", then offered her part of a bite, but snatched it away bcause the child wanted to hold the bite herself (obviously mom didn't want a mess) so when she offered another bite to the little girl, the little girl refused to eat from mom's hands . . . Now the little girl has the bagel smashed against her mouth licking and sucking it in delight. Mom is busy with her lap top.
Little girl and I have made eye contact a couple of times and shared smiles. And I feel she is so sweet, sharing her little happy face, so animated . . When we are young mommies, we sometimes get so distracted...

'mommy's laughing at the computer'

Friday, June 12, 2009

Exercise 1

There is no rhyme or reason is there? I began with an idea that I'd "art journal" everyday for 30 days so I could discipline myself that even at the day job i could find a way to create so my soul wouldn't die.... and so I began last Friday and haven't been able to keep up this week. I do have 4 days worth to post, either my writing, documenting, drawing, photographs, however or whatever the medium... so now it feels very unstructured, and i had wanted to impose structure on my process... more shall be revealed i'm sure.

The first posting is from Friday, June 12, 2009