I have been extraordinarily busy, in my creative life, in my "day job" life and personally as well....

I took the last 18 days to try and stay focused creatively, either with my drawing, my painting, my writing, my photography....

just to name a few...

I feel still like I'm not able to break through a "stagnant" feeling that i'm not putting enough into my creative world....

I can't do it all is what has come glaringly apparent. I knew that, but why can't i just find a way to be satisfied in the "daily" creative endeavor?

I began my new "artistic journal" in hopes that by posting here daily (almost) that i could feel or see that indeed i am finding my creative spirit in the "daily" journey.

It is working.

But 18 days into this, tonight I feel I still have no real progress to show for my "focus" or my distinct discipline in seeing the "art" in my every day walk... I guess I want more.

I don't feel I'll be happy until I can really say I'm a fulltime artist, and this last 18 days was a trial for me to "make do" with the time I have for now.

My goal for now is to merge my living space with my workspace, a live/work space, to plan an exhibit for my new work inspired by "rougge's" music, finish some children's illustrations, and continue in my daily artistic journal... I have at least 5 other projects in various stages, and about 3 more in the "brain" and sketchbook.... I don't suffer from the proverbial painter's block, staring at a white blank canvas, but i do get stuck when i'm in constant "schizoid" mode between art/art studio and day job responsibilities.

Tomorrow I will finish the "cow" project I've done at the day job. As part of the summer reading program, kids keeping track of time reading earn prizes and this year will also earn a "heifer cow" (see this for more info) - to be purchased to feed a hungry family.

So I have made a large cow for the wall above the children';s area and each time one hundred children finish the reading program i will put up a part of the cow, hoping to show our cow in finished form by the end of summer. So the last two days I've actually been able to spend "library" time painting.... yay!

(images later)


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